Sunday, April 4, 2010

Andy Won't Judge My Work...and Inferior Products

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It was arranged well over a week ago that this afternoon I would go visit my boyfriend. Andy is canine, a handsome Aussie, who's just had his last radiation treatment on his snout. Andy has had a voracious appetite and eggs have been a treat for him. So taking him some beautiful hard-boiled colored eggs with names on them was a no-brainer.

I don't even need to read the PAAS package directions. As I boil the eggs, I get out 6 coffee mugs, throw a color tab in each and go get the vinegar jug.
Just to check myself, I look at the box for the amount of vinegar and water for each cup.
WAIT: for pastel eggs - no vinegar - just water. Ok, cool...cuz since there's mostly boys on the farm, I want most of the eggs to be a pale robin's egg blue - so I put the blue and green color tab in the same cup. In goes the water. The fizzing should commence immediately - but it doesn't.
I'm patient - I stir each cup and go off to take some pics of new sprouts and buds around the back yard...

STILL - no fizz...in each cup the water is barely colored - the 'color tab' is just hanging out on the bottom of the cup - so now I start the piercing act in each cup - I can break the tab, but no fizzing.

FINE. I ready the boiled eggs, now drained, for names...
WAIT. Where's the wax crayon to write names with on the eggs?
Nada.
FINE. I'll just start the process knowing there's no names.




Forget the vinegar...remember, not used for 'pastels'.

Pastel? PASTEL???
You can barely tell anyone even wispered a color on these
unmarked eggs. How horrid. How ugly.
How embarassing - this is not a gift - this is a disaster.

WAIT.
Andy loves me.
Dogs are mostly colored blind and actually their color sight is already PASTEL.
and...dogs don't judge.
Andy couldn't care less about the shell of this food.

I can't wait to see him this afternoon and give him
this beeeeeaaaautiful gift.

Screw you PAAS.

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